[BaadAssGremlins] Twas the (AMC) day before X(R)mas....

["Jerry" <gremlingts@xxxxxxxxx>]

 Just thought I'd send everyone some merry Christmas cheer via this 
AMC poem. Enjoy it and the holidays. Merry Christmas, everyone! 
 - Jerry Casper -

T'was the AMC day before XRmas....


 T'was the day before Christmas
and Santa was frantic.
 The sleigh was a mess,
and the elves were all manic.

 The reindeer were missing
and Mrs. Claus was quite tipsy,
 The presents weren't loaded 
and Christmas looked iffy.

 The old elf looked haggard
from pulling all-nighters,
 the snow piling up fast
it was looking all white'r.

 Taking a break from the mayhem
he shuffled out into the snow,
 walking aimlessly for awhile
while a north'er did blow.

 His path led him around 
to his summer garage,
 filled with his treasures
of old vintage cars.

 '57 Corvette fuel injected
and a Hemi Superbird,
 sat next to a BMW Isetta
now t'wasn't that absurd?

 Santa distractedly rubbed
his big ol' pot belly,
 and wondered HOW to get out
of THIS big bowl of jelly?

 He puffed out a breath,
thinking thoughts that weren't legal,   
 then an inspiration struck, 
for there sat an AMC Eagle!

 Brown and tan in color
it looked like a plain hauler
 but underneath that exterior
was a serious snow mauler!

 The color of reindeer
and oh so surefooted,
 it'd pull him anywhere
to all chimneys so sooted
 
 Santa was overcome with joy
his pathway seemed clear,
 but with the sleigh in bad shape
in what could he steer?

 Shifting his gaze to and fro,
his eyes lit upon a sight 
 that could turn any elf racer
snow-white with deep fright.

 Underneath a green cover,
covered with years of snow dust
 sat a Holy Christmas terror
with not a single speck of rust.

 Santa yanked off the cover
his elf knees a'tremblin',
 for that red and white car
was a Randall XR 401 Gremlin!

 Unblemished it sat 
when Santa had put it away,
 it was far too dangerous
than his Mach 10 horse sleigh!

 But heaving a breath, ragged
the old Elf had to admit,
 it was the perfect machine 
if his pants he didn't, er, well...you know!

 So getting to work quickly
he pulled both AMCs out,
 and hitched them together
with magic chain, stout.

 The Eagle would fly 
and kick snowbanks assunder
 while the red XR "sleigh"
would make powerful thunder.

 Applying elf magic,
both vehicles were ready,
 but could Santa really do this
without winding up dead-y?

 The roar of both engines
drowned the howl of the gale
 shifting to first and then clutching
the jolly elf looked quite pale!

 "Away dashing and dancing
as I donner for a blitzen,
 don't get in my way, as
I'm driving with mittens!"

 Santa roared up the hill
toward his northly pole castle
 the Eagle pulled mightly
but without even a hassle!

 The mighty XR was a'humming
with it's roar, no complaining
 Santa still worried some though,
could even magic chain take the straining?

 All thru the day
elves filled up the XR,
 loading thru the rear hatch 
(and restocking Santa's bar...Shhhh!).

 Finally nightfall arrived
and still no sign of the 'deer,
 Santa hoped for the best
and swallowed his fear.

 One last look around,
all the elves were in hiding.
 They thought Santa'd be smeared
and there'd be no glad tidings!

 With a gleam in his eye
he lit the V-8 up, fun!
 And, with a flick of the pedal
off he shot like a gun.

 And faintly they heard 
as he thundered away,
 "Merry Christmas to all!
I may get home early today!"


  by Jerry Casper


  
 
 



 
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