Re: Married with ( AMC ) Children...

[Jerry Casper <gremlingts@xxxx>]

 I FINALLY got married at 42 last year, I had to
wait to find the wife I really wanted, but it was
worth the wait! Found a PA Dutch-raised girl down in
Texas ( online dated first ), good values, didn't try
to change me, accepted my car habit as "normal", and
supports me just fine ( although she DID say I can't
bring home any more cars until I get rid of a couple
unwanted ones... fine, I have 27, I really don't need
anymore right now, LOL! ). She moved up to Virginia to
be with me after she realized I was Mr. Probably Right
( after two previous tries ). 
If you don't have the strength of character to RUN
from someone at the first sign of " you should be more
interested in ME and putting ME first " attitude from
the person you're dating, then you WILL be unhappy. I
found someone who could tolerate my car hobby ( and
others ) just fine, and though it took a long time, it
was worth the wait. And on the flip side, when she
wants something done, I make every effort to put that
on the top of my list, as I WANT to keep her happy and
satisfied. That should be the goal on both sides, and
I could never understand how some people can be
willing to give up friends and long-standing
activities just because someone else in your life is
"jealous" of those other things that take away time
from them personally. Either they can get involved, or
live with it, is my attitude. Some consideration
towards married life must be made, some activities
will cease altogether( like bar-hopping, late nights
out, etc. ), others may be cut back, too, but when you
start giving up things SPECIFICALLY to please someone
else that are NOT destructive or narcisstic ( hobbies,
friends, etc. ), then it's not a healthy relationship,
IMO. You may get something short-term out of it ( sex,
a girlfriend/boyfriend, alot of personal attention etc
), but by giving up things you care about, I doubt
it'll bring true happiness. Maybe some of those
activities were just "filler" activities in their
lives until someone showed up to be more important to
them. I've seen some people's relationships change
radically after a personal commitment to another, and
it wasn't a bad thing, but some others were just
unhealthy and unwarranted manipulation by an insecure
person. 
Anyway, I'm happy, I have my AMCs and my wife (
er, make that my wife AND my AMCs, guess I should put
her first? LOL ), and other than not being rich, I
have no complaints. Well, I did lose a cat this week,
might have been taken by a wild animal ( 3rd cat in 2
years, dammit, he was like a son to me...I'm gonna
miss that cat! ). Hope everyone else can be as lucky
as I am to have both things, a good wife and (sorta
good ) cars. AMC ya!

Jerry Casper

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