Re: [BaadAssGremlins] New Hurricane & The Great Dangerfield'sOne-Liners

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From: "Eddie Stakes" <eddiestakes@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Date: Wed, 13 Oct 2004 10:28:19 -0500

Thought some of you could use a quick joke, ok, two, the hurricane one is well for those of you poor SOB's in the "Sunshine State" battered this yerr, boy, I feel for ya'll, been there done that, but not on that extreme. The other is a few one liners from the late, great, Rodney Dangerfield. AMC content as usually required by most lists, that Gremlin 74 I thought I had "sold" back in July, the guy has been pulling my chain on it. I initially received the $500 deposit on it, then nothing else and have gotten excuses. So I'm sending a register letter, after waiting patiently almost 90 days for another payment........that the buyer will have to come up with a low end payment of $900, which is payments of $300 for Aug/Sept/Oct, or pay the vehicle in full of $1500, or if no payment is received by Nov 1st, the initial $500 refund will be forfeited and the car will be put up for sale again same day. I have about a dozen emails from people who were interested in it back in June/July, and I have held onto them, as you never know if something will happen like this.

I give people a break obviously as I realize that a serious interested party might not be able to come up with X amount of $ in this economy, and while I would rather take money and run, would rather see the car(s) go to a AMCer who has always wanted that make/model. But again, there are risks, and I guess this is one of them. So if you see the car up for sale in a couple of weeks....again, you will know it didn't pan out.

Eddie Stakes

New Hurricane:

The National Weather Service has issued a warning for yet another catastrophic hurricane following on the heels of Charley, Francis, Ivan and Jeanne. The path of this hurricane zigs and zags, and is therefore highly unpredictable. Experts predict that this one will cause the most damage to the United States that we have experienced in four years.

They are naming this one Hurricane Kerry.

Be advised, the only way for citizens to protect themselves is to be behind a Bush.

I guarantee that when you get through reading these , that you will have tears in your eyes, from laughing... Larry

Rodney Dangerfield's 21 Best One Liners:

1. I was so poor growing up, if I wasn't a boy... I'd have had nothing to play with.

2. A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over; nobody's home." I went over. Nobody was home.

3. During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.

4. One day I came home early from work ... I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, "Hey buddy, why are you doing that?" He said "Because you came home early."

5. It's been a rough day. I got up this morning . put a shirt on and a button fell off. I picked up my brief case, and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom.

6. I was such an ugly kid...When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.

7. I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and radio.

8. I was such an ugly baby...My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend.

9. I'm so ugly...My father carried around a picture of the kid who came with his wallet.

10. When I was born, the doctor came into the waiting room and said to my father, "I'm sorry. We did everything we could, but he pulled through."

11. I'm so ugly...My mother had morning sickness...AFTER I was born.

12. I remember the time that I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.

13. Once when I was lost, I saw a policeman, and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him, "Do you think we'll ever find them?" He said,"I don't know kid. There's so many places they can hide."

14. My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.

15. I'm so ugly...I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get.

16. I went to see my doctor. "Doctor, every morning when I get up and I look in the mirror...I feel like throwing up; What's wrong with me?" He said..."I don't know but your eyesight is perfect."

17. I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.

18. With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, "How can I get my kite in the air?" He told me to run off a cliff.

19. Some dog I got. We call him Egypt because in every room he leaves a pyramid. His favorite bone is in my arm. Last night he went on the paper four times - three of those times I was reading it.

20. One year they wanted to make me poster boy for birth control.

21. My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap; he was in the electric chair.

And #22: I'm so ugly, when I was born the doctor slapped my mother!

_____________________________________________________________________
Business Card Page - http://mysite.verizon.net/res79g4m/
"I have an inferiority complex. But it's not a very good one."

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Re: [BaadAssGremlins] New Hurricane & The Great Dangerfield'sOne-Liners & Gremlin Limbo