[BaadAssGremlins] Return of the seat belt saga

["Eddie Stakes" <eddiestakes@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

A few months ago ya'll remember I got a ticket in a Houston Police 'seat belt detail' 
sting. The ticckets were for no insurance and failure to wear seat belt. A number of 
people weighed in for and against seat belts and I promised to let everyone know how it 
turned out.

I asked for a judge trial, not jury, just judge. I had to go to Municipal Court (Harris 
County, Houston, Texas) March 28th. I was loaded for bear on this one. Rather pissed off 
about whole deal as while Houston Police were standing around giving out pre-filled-out 
seat belt tickets....two blocks away the Randall's store's Wells Fargo bank was being held 
up.....and the guys got away, they dropped a bag of cash in parking lot (of all days for 
me not to be shopping there darn it) but here is 10-20 cops standing under I-10 bridge 
giving out tickets to policeman's ball. I'm a big fan of police and have done many, many, 
benefits for cops thru the years at clubs I have managed or worked at. But what a waste of 
time with seat belts.

If you want to do some detail, stop the carnage in Harris County...we are #1 in the United 
States in DWIs and DWI deaths due to drunken driving. I see it live going home from work, 
people weaving, lanes blocked due to rollover, you name it, have seen it in 28 years, a 
detail getting drunks off road would be more useful and bring in tons of money into city, 
and county coffers in time when some precincts are laying off cops due to budget 
shortfalls, go figure. Side note a Conroe cop just was shot in face by guy the other day, 
here is video, :
 http://abclocal.go.com/ktrk/video?id=8057862
they killed the SOB, but the cop, who at least is out of hospital and has sense of humor, 
is going to be ok, but they had to remove his right eye.

So back to seat belts. I came home that day after getting donuts for Noah & Jacob who were 
watching Spongebob, Patrick, Mr Crabs, and Squidward on the tv. The cop walked up to me, 
asked for license and insurance, I had license but not insurance card with me, hell I 
didn't even have underwear on and as many of you know, rarely wear shoes.

So came home, had Noah take photos of me sitting in car, with 'lap' belt attached (cop 
never looked down, he was going only by shoulder harness, I don't wear it) and took photos 
of the seat belt superimposed on top of that morning's Houston Chronicle showing date (old 
insurance dating trick).
I took photos of the car also. And went inside, got my policy, and hung in office, later 
that night got photos developed online at Walgreens, and tossed them in same envelope. And 
forgot about it.

Onto March 28th court date. I put on my best pair of underwear that didn't have go pack 
racing stripes (eh, you didn't need to know that but hope you already had supper) and 
elastic and no holes. Big decision was to wear shoes, Paige said 'treat it like wedding or 
parole hearing or church, sort of important' so put on nice shoes and socks. No AMC racing 
Team shirt, used shirt with collar, Paige said I looked ready for a date. Driving down 
I-10 I passed by the closed down Scoreboard Sports Bar near Silber, that made me sad, as 
lots of great memories in the almost 11 years worked there. On the side of me is a big 18 
wheeler with nothing on the side except "AMX" same font as the cars we love. That's a good 
sign, it's gonna be a good night as Black Eye Peas say. Got down to courthouse there is no 
more manned house, you just drive in, park, look at number on ground and pay $5 to mailbox 
type thing punching in your number. Walked thru the metal detectors on first floor and cop 
asked me about a 38 caliber bullet on my key chain, which has 31 keys. Can't carry keys in 
pocket would tear hole in pocket, over pound of keys. I told them that would not pop if I 
tossed it in bonfire so she laughed and let me go. I also told here good eyes as they 
didn't catch that at Bush when I flew out 2 months earlier.

All rise for judge, oh sh*t she looks just like my ex girlfriend Tammy, I'm sunk. Lucky 
for me she is leaving at 6:00pm, and I'm seeing judge at 6:30pm. So while I wait I look 
around and count spit on floor. Someone carved in a pen*s into the wood pews in front of 
me, how can they do that with all the cops, judge and presecutor in room, man, that takes 
balls. But old courtroom, hell, even clock on wall missing hands, nice touch! Prosecutor's 
name was Isaha, that is good bibical name, so things looking up..called my name and walked 
up, sat down, and he said if I had insurance, yup, didn't even get to pull out policy and 
he said 'I'm dismissing your case' and I said, 'aw, but I have photos' he said 'no that's 
fine don't need them' and I said 'but my wife tired of looking at them' and he laughed and 
told me to go sit to the left, many what a motley crew of people, one guy should have been 
tossed in jail for his colonge I have smelled prettier urinal cakes. So walked up, bailiff 
gave me two certifications of dismissal and I was gone, drove home and was only out $5 for 
parking (I was there in court 22 minutes) and gas, about $5 more to drive there from west 
Houston. Got to see beautiful sunset and was surprising not a lot of traffic on Interstate 
10 westbound on a Friday about 7pm, got home, kids and Paige were sure I would spend the 
night, but simply was a quick road trip over something stupid. I may add in the time I was 
in courtroom, out of the 18 people there, 10 of them the charges were dismissed. One guy 
got a lashing from judge while there, as he had 5 tickets and spent 12 hours in jail, but 
didn't bring anything to court showing he had been in jail so she would not dismiss or 
give him credit for time served. I never even got to face judge, just got to look at spit, 
broken clock and someone's elaborate carving into the bench.
Eddie Stakes
713.464.8825
eddiestakes@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
www.planethoustonamx.com



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