How an AMC engineer bakes a potato

["Widiker, John D" <john.widiker@xxxxxxx>]

How a Toyota engineer bakes a potato: 
Preheats new, high-quality oven to 350 F. Inserts Idaho potato. Does
something productive for 45 minutes. Checks for doneness, and then
removes perfectly baked potato from oven and serves. 

How a GM engineer bakes a potato: 
Instructs an Idaho potato supplier to preheat the oven to 350F. Demand
that the supplier show how he turned the dial to reach 350F, and have
him come up with documentation from the oven manufacturer proving that
it was calibrated properly. Reviews documentation, then has supplier
check the temperature using sophisticated temperature probe. 
Directs supplier to insert potato and set timer for 45 minutes. Has
supplier open oven to prove potato has been installed correctly, and
requests a free study proving that 45 minutes is the ideal time to bake
a potato of this size. 
Checks potato for doneness after 10 minutes. 
Checks potato for doneness after 11 minutes. 
Checks potato for doneness after 12 minutes. 
Becomes impatient with supplier. ("Why is this simple potato taking so
long to bake?") Demands status reports every five minutes. Checks potato
for doneness after 15 minutes... After 35 minutes, concludes that potato
is nearing completion. Congratulates supplier, and then updates his boss
on all the great work he has done, despite having to work with such an
uncooperative supplier. Has supplier remove potato from oven after 40
minutes of baking, as a cost savings; without loss of function or
quality versus ! the original 45 minute baking time. Serves underdone
potato. Wonders aloud what on earth those Japanese folks are doing over
there to make such good low-cost baked potatoes that people seem to like
better than GM potatoes. 

How a Daimler Chrysler engineer bakes a potato: 
Designs great looking potato. Includes sour cream, bacon bits, chives,
and cheese. Asks for assessment from the Bean Counters and they create
MCM system. Which causes him to spend 2 years looking for ways to take
out sour cream, bacon bits, chives, and cheese. Finds cheap imitation
chives from Japanese supplier, so DCX management demands use of
expensive, over-engineered German bacon bits to help prop up weak German
suppliers. Eventually sell potato with cheap imitation chives; no sour
cream, cheese, or expensive German bacon bits. (Because Germany was on a
holiday when potato was finished baking.) Potato rots so fast customer
swears never to buy another DCX potato. 

How a Ford engineer bakes a potato: 
Studies all other baked potatoes currently on the market and copies what
he thinks are the best attributes of each, except makes it a, plain
looking, "everyman" potato, so everyone will know it is a Ford potato.
Sells as "green" alternative to French Fries. When micro-waved, potato
explodes, causing death and injury to customers and brings an end to
100-year old potato and butter-supplier relationship...lawyers flourish.


How an AMC engineer bakes a potato: 
Designs a self baking potato that is ready in half the time for lower
cost, incorporates love it or hate it aesthetics. Potato tastes better
and is more reliable then the competitions but can't seem to market them
well enough to turn a sizable profit. Stays ahead of the curve for a
while. Makes deal with Cheese Eating Surrender Monkey Incorporated to
market a line of low cost difficult to service pastries along side the
potato to lure customers into dealership. C.E.S.M.inc gets threatening
letter from Daimler, wets themselves, and promptly sells company at a
loss. People fondly invest great sums of money into maintaining
freshness of the last AMC potato they were able to purchase while
bystanders openly wonder what is wrong with them and why they will not

buy a newer albeit less yummy potato.