GremlinQuest - Search for the Kammback Halfling ( Johnny LIghtning )

["Jerry" <gremlingts@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

Forget the video games! Join in this real-life eye-popping, 
electrifying adventure, where you race around the country in your 
SUV/minivan/beater( or Jeep), trying to find the elusive hatchback 
hidden behind deceptive diecasts, and score Super bonus points with 
a White Lightning! Loads of fast paced fun, while you dodge Wally-
world wanks, teeter around Toys-R-Us toddlers, twist around Target-
teens, and dive under the parts counter at Advance Auto parts in 
search of The Halfling. Build up enough Kammbacks in your virtual 
shopping cart, and they overflow into the Bonus Ebay coffer 
cauldron, ringing up major $ points! There's no end to the adventure 
you'll find, but watch out for the competition - there's Peg Hog, 
she buys every diecast toy in reach, doesn't know what the kid 
wants. Takes-His-Time Tony meanders the aisles in search of ?, you 
may have to back your cart up to get around him! Beware of Brat 
Packs,  groupings of 2-3 kids just picking things up and putting 
them back, blocking your access to finding the Kammback idol. Keep 
an eye out for Basket Bandits - you can only park your basket at 
aisle ends, to get around easier in the narrow pathways, and these 
irritating idiots will "bump" your cart and dislodge your treasures 
into their own handbaskets! Racing back and touching your basket 
disperses the Bandits, but you lose those diecasts forever! But the 
most nefarious opponent is the devilishly disguised Diecast 
Devourer, he is fast, once he enters an area, he can suck it clean 
of all major diecast favorites before you can spin your cart in a 
circle! Known to work early, and be gone in a flash with the 
goodies! Best depart once he goes thru, only the dead bones of 
Mustangs and Magnums will be left behind to show he's scoured the 
shelves clean. 
  Score some major bonus points by picking thru bonus Pallet Towers, 
but beware - get caught by the Aisle ASSistant, and you get escorted 
out the door, and you'll have to hit another store before you can 
return to this level! And don't forget the "Nooks n' Crannies" 
searches at aisle ends - they can hold elusive treasures, too!
  So, the fun begins. All the stores are restocking as of January 
12th in Virginia, post-Christmas, as I vainly searched on the 12th - 
are YOU ready for the GremlinQuest challenge? Let the Friday the 
13th car-nage begin! On your mark, get set...

Jerry " The Gremlinizer" Casper