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Looks like Pontiac will be joining us on the ever expanding "orphan" field
now. Getting sort of crowded with Hummer, Olds, Plymouth, Saturn now Pontiac.
The below was sent to me from fellow car fan Randy Tate. On the Aztec however I
wanted to comment. While the Aztek tops many 'worst cars' lists:
Back in the millenium I was working at a sports bar called Nick's here in
Houston. A friend of mine who frequented the place, Mike, also known as 'fake
cop mike' used to work at Mars Research on Wilcrest at Richmond Avenue about 2
miles south of Nick's. There, companies paid Mars to bring in individuals to get
opinions on upcoming products for variety of reasons, could be new beer, chips,
gaming software, anything and everything. Mike would solicit the crew from
Nick's, myself included, as one would get paid $40-$50 for usually hour work at
Mars. You sat thru presentation, ate stuff, drank stuff, played games, whatever
it was, no one knew until you showed up for appointment. You just evaluated
things and got paid for it while being watched.
On this particular day it was new Pontiac Aztek. There were a series of
commercials we watched. Behind the huge 2 way mirror was GM reps and marketing
people. After you watched a commercial the instructor would ask questions. One
of the commercials showed a couple having more fun than legally allowed by law
at beach, waterfall, driving, a Aztek.
I told them that I thought this was the most butt ugly car I had ever seen,
it makes a AMC Pacer look beautiful. They copied the chopped off back end of a
Gremlin and used it. The idea of the seats folded down to make a bed was stolen
from Nash in the 40s/50s and if you wanted to make a bed inside Aztek you would
have to be midgets. The commercials were symbolism making it appear that if you
bought a Aztek, you would never work another day in your life, all fun at beach,
waterfall, camping, nothing more.
I was the harshest of the group and let everyone know am car collector (A
lady there said "that is one ugly car! though)...I also mentioned that Detroit
needs to quit spitting out junk like this, if they sold any of these ugly things
it would be to ugly people, not beautiful, sexy couple shown in one of the
commercials. Montezuma's Revenge......I blathered, (got laughs in room, probably
behind 2way also) later this would be also mentioned by those who felt GM had
lost it's way.
Two reps came out later and talked to me, asking why so harsh on it and I
simply said that 'it looks like a piece of sh*t, and I don't think it will sell,
much less bring people into Poncho showrooms'. I said to them I could waste your
day telling you about throwing away valuable resources into something that won't
sell and mentioned Matador coupes from 1970s. I don't know if it did bring
curious buyers in, but know it didn't sell worth a damn either. I later heard
from Mike also, as he said my opinions were recorded and taken back to Detroit.
Whole room, all 8 of us, opinions recorded and only 2 thought 'it was a neat
car' but 'expressed no desire to buy one' either, so ugly little car went 0 fer
8 that day. I still got invited back for more 'research' at Mars later. Didn't
see that coming.
Too bad about Pontiac though, have always like the marque, although those
Aussie built GTO things fall into same Aztek mold of what the hell were you
thinking?
I saw a piece yesterday on tv about "struggling Pontiac" and thought for a
moment of American Motors and other orphans, once sales dip it seems all get
that same moniker from press of "struggling" so see "struggling Saturn" or
"struggling Olds" or "struggling whoever".
So goodbye Pontiac, I'll see you at the cruise nights and car shows there
with my AMCs.
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