[AMC-List] Twas the day after XRmas....

[Jerry Casper <gremlingts@xxxxxxxxx>]

   T'was the morning after XRmas...

 Twas the fine morning after
that great holiday
 where people give gifts
and bow heads to pray

 In thanks for the child
who's life was our gift
 to deliver us from evil
(and not miss a quick shift)

 That having been said,
our man of the hour,
 Ol Jolly Saint Nick
who delivered thru powder.

 Bursting thru heaven
and driving like hell,
 he delivered his goods
and all turned out well.

 Back home now in slippers
sipping piping hot cider,
 he munched on some snacks
groaning " I'm gonna get wider".

 The post-season news
was just coming in
 and all Santa could do
was shake head and grin.

 The reindeer were found
at some posh party distillin'
 fine pickled eggnog
with some chick named P. Hilton

 The Elves were invited 
to California, a show
 with some guy named Phil
'bout their phobia of snow

 The Mrs. had gone south
to a sunny rehab
 making tan lines in Aruba
and gettin' rid of some flab.

 Santa was just chillin'
after a wild ride that night
 no doubt he'd made history
with that historic flight.

 The Eagle had soared
and pulled straight and true
 while the Gremlin XR 
had sure paid it's dues. 

 The landings were tricky
with brakes notoriously fickle
 even with those torque links
he barely missed the Grim sickle.

 But he mastered that beast
and drove it all night
 til it dropped him home safely
from that hair-raising flight.

 He'd motored it past
all the elves, cheering wildly
 as he'd broken speed records
and that's putting it mildly!

 He'd pulled into his garage
and finally turned off the key.
 The motors went silent
and ol' Santa had to pee!

 With a bow of his head
he'd prayed with much love
 for making it thru
with that help from above.

 Now a few hours later
he was feeling quite toasty
 the cider had kicked in
and his cheeks were all rosy

 He sauntered outdoors
down the pathway dim lit
 to his favorite garage
where the XR did sit.

 The door flew wide open
as Santa gazed merrily
 upon his red-hot lil Gremlin
and then sighed, Oh verily

 What am I to do
with this car so bare tamed
 with a motor so hot
he'd almost gone down in flames?

 It wasn't it's fault
it was so devilishly fast
 but he'd prayed every hour
thinking it might be his last.

 He gazed and he pondered
then with a final weary sigh
 he pulled on the cover
and looked to the sky.

 "Oh Lord, I don't know
the fate of this car,
 if only I could see
by the light of your star.

 To guide me thru heaven
was a task quite forbidding
 I'm not sure next year
my heart could take thrilling.

 So I leave it to you
to show me the way
 if it's needed once more
as old Santa's sleigh."

 So one last look upon
that wild child, now still.
 He silently bade goodnight
'til next year's good will. 

 And after closing the door,
and walking up to his castle
 thought "I'd better call Haggerty,
if I wreck it'll be a hassle!"  

 The End? 

 by Jerry Casper
 
 


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