Are you ready?

["Mahoney, John" <JMahoney@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

For football, baseball, cartoons, car tunes, death, or taxes? 

For all of the above?

OK.

Since my week began in Noo Yawk with some "Monday Night Music"

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/04/05/arts/music/05juil.html

http://www.nysun.com/article/30428

and should end back in NY with some swingin' Saturday matinee

http://tinyurl.com/juhdt

(it has everything: sex, money, religion, and, of course, a diva dying of consumption [what else?] yet strong enough to toss off high notes), I get only 2.5 days back home for working ("arm candy" isn't really a paying job), so I need to sing-and-run.  If you missed seeing TV, maybe you can hear radio (through a grille while working on a Hornet grille?) in the garage Saturday.  (Just don't call me "Mr. Fleming" [I prefer "Bond, J..."] write "girlfriend" [too juvenile], "lady friend" [too geriatric], or say "significant other" [simply too stupid sounding] for 47- and 53-year-olds.)

If I can stay long enough to "do a Charles Nash" at the auto show, I can see new models from (where else?) Asia.  Is the "new" Altima all new (it certainly was new when it helped Nissan recover and Japan invade the formerly all-American "big" car and truck segments); is the Scion coupe a little Lexus, an entry Infiniti, or a FWD BMW 3 beater; is Korea still unstoppable; and is America (meaning GM and Ford) still sinking?  [GXP looks like a same old and 300 stretch looks like an NBA Gangstamobile.]

Maybe that's the way life is now: dumb and dumber as we turn into a Third-World country.  Can't read, can't write, can't make music with melody and harmony:  even old white men can't do things right.  Had a curious conversation with an old white man on Monday and he said, "Don't they have SPELLCHECK now, dammit?" when grilled over a luncheon grill.  Fish.  Who knows?  (Just don't call him "Mr. Philbin" [he prefers "Reg"...] or "old" --- and hope to keep [on] eating.)

But young or old, any color, you can win today's trivia contest 

http://www.autoshowny.com/trivia/

because one answer is on your grille (or on your grill if you breathe solvents) and the others depend only on your "state" of [WI] learning.

And this old white man says, "Don't they have an INTERNET now, dammit?"   

While looking backward, look for the "Nash" emblem seen at a [Hooters-type] "Headlights" restaurant on Jay Tarses' new "Teachers" on NBC TV.


>>AMC got an exception from the gov't for the ['74] Javelin [bumpers]

Yes, and struggling AMC had "snuck by" in meeting other safety mandates.

Case-in-point: Gremlin/Spirit fuel fillers/tanks were not dissimilar to those on the famously flammable Ford Pinto, yet neither Nader nor NHTSA yelled "Fire!" anytime anyone drove off in a subcompact by weak old AMC.

Nonetheless, AMC got few free regulatory rides.  In Johnson v. American Motors Corporation, involving an AMC station wagon, an appeals court found:  

"When AMC adapted the design that it did, it should have foreseen that its automobile might be involved in a rear-end collision of such force as to burst the gasoline tank and that in such case the automobile might burst into flame and the occupants might be incinerated."

and in American Motors Corporation v. Ellis, the appellate court ordered a new trial, noting:

"In the present case, there was evidence adduced from which the jury could have found that AMC was aware of the catastrophic results of fuel tank fires in its vehicles from its own crash tests, and that AMC chose not to implement the recommendation of its engineers to relocate the fuel tank in order to maximize profits."

and adding, "[AMC] failed to conduct further crash tests or experiments to determine feasible alternatives, despite its knowledge that its present design could not survive crash tests at relatively low speeds."

What would a court say about any 472 CI AMC Pacer's crash safety now?
 
http://tinyurl.com/g47f2

What would a court say about any 1970s car's -concept- of safety now?

Style was what counted.  Even for old AMC.

http://www.retrocrush.com/archive2004/amc/

How things looked and sounded was key.

Like writing and speaking.

Oh well.


If you didn't care about the Cadillac cover Lutz lifted for "60 Minutes" on Sunday, did you enjoy the escape of Jeep's new Escape, ah, -Wrangler- 4-door before its New York debut?  

http://photos1.blogger.com/hello/25/2833/1024/IMG_42501.jpg

http://photos1.blogger.com/hello/25/2833/1024/IMG_4252.jpg

http://photos1.blogger.com/hello/25/2833/1024/IMG_42521.jpg

If you didn't care for the Chevy-Ford-Mopar coverage of B-J in Florida over the weekend (what fool would pay $100k+ for the "Eleanor" clone?), did you bid low for the #1 lot on the block?

http://tinyurl.com/fw6ad

http://tinyurl.com/rvj2t

Did "Rambler mentality" win?

Did you Nash your teeth

http://tinyurl.com/hyor7

at the price of big cars?

("Coulda had an Aveo instead!"???)

If you didn't care for a "Rambler replacement" ad, take two Tahoes
 
http://tinyurl.com/n6frd

http://tinyurl.com/g4sw4

and call the retired Doc Olds in the morning.

http://www.gmphotostore.com/prodinfo.asp?number=53217919

Word is that he still makes some house calls.

http://www.arentallshop.com/SCC/scc28olds.htm

in some emergency situations, in his old AMC.

http://www.arentallshop.com/SCC/DMS-73AMX.htm

Unfortunately, if the price of gas continues to rise, he may no longer rumble around in a V-8, but will stop & start & go [slow] in a C2

http://www.easier.com/view/News/Motoring/Citroen/article-44476.html

which is neither a '63-'67 Chevy fastback nor an '07 Toyota liftback

http://tinyurl.com/jgotk

http://tinyurl.com/lraoq

http://tinyurl.com/n532b

but what he calls a new AMC Gremlin.  (Only when his glasses are lost.)

http://www.adflip.com/images/jpegs/12115.jpg

Didn't someone say that some of the "early" cars looked alike?  Early??


>>get going on the grill work this afternoon ... the noise from my Dremil.

>>grills (we dance a slower dance out here) are so much easier to fix.

Didn't someone say that some dance (or drill?) to different drummers?

(And didn't someone say that some doctors can be hazardous to health?)

http://tinyurl.com/gjm5e

http://www.cartoonstock.com/lowres/cgo0038l.jpg

(Where is the ethylene glycol monomethyl ether?)


If you're into sniffing out trends in auto history, remember D-B + C?

First Nash + Hudson, AMC/Jeep + Renault, Chrysler + AMC/Jeep, and now

http://www.economist.com/business/displaystory.cfm?story_id=6740204

Didn't someone say that after three tries, an engine should run?

Didn't someone say it doesn't, it qualifies under the Lemon Law?

Today the "merger of equals" finds AMC-Jeep-Renault-Chrysler production staff teaching Untertuerkheim to build Mercedes cars efficiently, while Germans develop an A-Class platform to share.  With Dodge and Chrysler.

Didn't someone say that such strange things would never be done?

S-Class can't be built fast enough to satisfy status seekers sure that bigger in size and price is better, but R-Class can't be sold (without $8k in incentives) to status seekers sure that Lexus, Infiniti, Volvo, Audi, BMW, and big bling by America better impresses their friends (or their selves?)

Didn't someone say that fools and their money are soon separated?

If Toyota now builds more vehicles in North America than GM does,

http://tinyurl.com/eoh6f

Didn't someone say that life is a strange state in which to live?

Or didn't someone say not to think deeply about things like cars?

Oh well.


PS - No Foster critique: just seek more (and dig deep into) AMC history.

PPS - No flower car 411: just seek death (and dig deep into) US history.     

http://www.popsgarage.com/images/limo-hearse/hearse-12.html

http://www.popsgarage.com/images/limo-hearse/hearse-27.html

http://www.popsgarage.com/images/limo-hearse/hearse-5.html

http://www.popsgarage.com/images/limo-hearse/hearse-33.html

http://www.popsgarage.com/images/limo-hearse/hearse-26.html

Or, like an old Energizer bunny, just keep living on and on.

http://www.hearse.com/pa/

http://www.professionalcar.org/

http://members.tripod.com/~hammerhead39/barrys-links.html