YOU MIGHT BE A RACER WHEN..(off topic joke)

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off a moPar list once again :



YOU MIGHT BE A RACER WHEN..(off topic joke)

*	YOU MIGHT BE A RACER WHEN.........

*	You think the primary purpose of wings is to PREVENT flight. 

*	You take your helmet along when you go to buy new eyeglasses or
check out cars. 

*	You are happiest when your street car's tires are worn to racing
depth and the wear bars are showing. 

*	When something falls off of your car, you wonder how much weight 
you
just saved. 

*	Your email address refers to your race car rather than to
you. 

*	You've paid $4.00 a gallon for gas without complaining. 

*	You bought a race car before buying a house. 

*	You bought a race car before buying furniture for the new house. 

*	You're looking for a tow vehicle and still haven't bought 
furniture!

*	The requirements you give your real estate agent are (in order of
importance):

1) 8 car climate controlled garage with an attached shop.

2) Outside parking for 6 cars, a motor home, a crew cab dually, a 28'
enclosed trailer and a 34' 5th wheel. 

3) 3 phase 220V outlets in the garage for your welder. 

4) A grease pit. 

5) Deaf neighbors. 

6) Some sort of house with a working toilet & shower on the property -
 or - hookups for the  motor home. 

*	You sit in your race car in a dark garage and make car
noises and shift and practice your heel and toe, while waiting for 
your motor to get back from the machine shop. 

*	You have enough spare parts to build another car. 

*	More than one racer supply store recognizes your
voice and greets you by name when you call. 

*	You think the last line of the  Star Spangled banner is: "Racers 
start your engines!" 

*	People know you by your class, car number, and car color. 

*	You astound the clerk at Sears by bringing in a snapped breaker bar 
every other week or so. 

*	Your family brings the couch into the garage to spend time with 
you.

*	A neighbor asks if you have any oil, to which you query, "Synthetic 
or organic?" and they reply, "Vegetable or corn." 

*	You enjoy driving in the rain on the way to work. 

*	You always want to change something on your
street car to make it handle better. 

*	You've tried to convince your wife you needed that flow bench to 
fix the air filter on her station wagon.

*	You save broken car parts as "momentous". 

*	You've found your lawnmower runs pretty good on 108 octane gas (but 
don't particularly care for alcohol). 

*	The local police and state highway patrol have a picture of
your car taped to their dashboard. 

*	Instead of pictures in your wallet, you have time slips. 

*	You quote your street tire wear life in weeks
rather than miles. 

*	After you tell your wife where you'd like to go on
vacation she answers: "Why...is there a race there?" 

*	You know at least three 1-800 numbers to aftermarket parts houses 
by heart. 

*	You are on a first-name basis with owners of every local speed 
shop.

*	You want to take apart and rebuild things, even though they are not
broken. 

*	You have the monetary equivalent of a lunar rocket invested in
it, but your car still won't cut a good light or run the number. 

*	You own a vehicle that has at least 500 horsepower more than when 
it came out of Detroit. 

*	You look for hi-pro cars in the movies and try to guess what
engine size, tire size, and whether or not it has nitrous in it. 

*	You are the type of person who goes postal when you have to sit in 
a traffic jam for more than five minutes, yet you can spend five 
hours in the staging
lanes. 

*	Every stoplight becomes a practice tree to test your ability to
tree the guy in the other lane's eyes out. 

*	You wash your car like it was your firstborn child, you tend to its 
needs like it was your own body, you protect it like it's your 
family, then you drive it like you stole it.


*	You understand racing is a way of life, not just a means of
transportation. *	 



             Brien.
         NEW YORK
   eagle registry #501
eagle kammback registry